My husband is my SUPERMAN...

A little picture I made for us... : )

To an aching, ouching, ooohing society full of pains and ailments, fybromyalgia is not a new monster. This disorder attacks one’s, well… everything! From constant fatigue to an all-over aching body, a person suffering from FM has the hardest time doing even the most simple of tasks- like rising every morning. It is a constant struggle, and it seems impossible to get one’s body to cooperate. FM is largely considered and labeled a woman’s disorder, and while the current ratio of cases of FM in men and women is 9:1 (women holding the majority), there are many men who suffer daily with fibromyalgia who get overlooked…

…and I married one of them. If you have or know someone close to you that has fibromyalgia, you may have an idea what it is like living with a sufferer of the disorder. My husband, Chad, is no exception from the common symptoms, and actually has it much worse than most. FM for my husband is said to exist due to the fact that he has Systemic Lupus, which is a whole other story. Combined with secondary (to the Lupus) epilepsy, and something mysteriously wrong with his ankle, Chad is a medical mutt. And I am the dog-owner! Taking care of his needs can be challenging sometimes… just being honest. But is it worth it? Of course… I LOVE dogs, afterall.  But seriously, I’ve never met someone with so many reasons to complain that never complains! I would be a rotten person to be unwilling to serve him.

This is what a typical day looks like for us newlyweds- yes, we are newlyweds. My husband is 27, and I am 21, and yet sometimes I feel like I married an 80 year old! (I guess it’s a good thing I ADORE the elderly!) As the morning rolls around, and it’s time to wake up, I’m up in a flash. I tear open the blinds to absorb the sunlight, take it in with a deep breath, grab my cell phone off the charger, and whip around to embrace my husband and the exciting day we have ahead of us… but all I embrace when I spin around is the sound the let’s me know my husband fell back asleep… loud snoring.

Insert sigh.

Over the next 15-30 minutes, my husband sets his snooze a few times, get’s up, lays back down, gets up again, goes to the bathroom, lays down on the living room floor, stretches, lays down for a little more… and then sits. For a long time. Silently. I mean, I’m literally there wagging my tail like a puppy just brought home from a pet store and I can’t WAIT to play! But my husband is just fighting with the task of being able to take a breath without feeling pain, and to clear the clouds from his brain (please excuse the unintentional rhyme).

It is HARD. As a wife, I sometimes feel neglected, forgotten, unwanted, and like a fly on the wall. He is trapped in his own little world, and I feel like I don’t even make the tiniest bit of pretty music to cheer him up. But I’ve been learning. And if you are in my position, I hope you are learning too. But to be learning, you must be TEACHABLE. Do research on whatever your loved one is struggling with. Try your hardest to communicate with them, to understand them. It is NOT as easy as it looks, but it wouldn’t be a big sacrifice if it was easy. And sacrificing is necessary when you are trying to love someone that is suffering, no matter what the disorder or disease or illness.

If you are in this position, think about how to meet your loved ones needs first, and not your own. You have a lot more power to control your comfort and happiness, but for them, they are using all the power left within them to control the pain and just get through each day. Keep that in mind!

:::SLL:::